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We have a blast enjoying our various styles of worship and listening and at the same time exposing our children to both.We've also discovered that we are quite the same.Just as distressing will be the discovery that your spouse finds you a stranger and has begun to confront you with a list of your serious shortcomings." Our differences in culture caused some conflicts at the beginning of our marriage. The gospel breaks down barriers because in salvation there is no distinction between people of different races, backgrounds, and ethnicities (Romans ).We knew we were the same in Christ, but culturally we were so different. Like many newlyweds, we had much to work through, with the added fear that as I became one with my husband I would lose a major part of who I was as a black female. God created my husband and me equally and God saved us by the same grace (Ephesians 2:8-9).We were in love, and that love led us to make a vow to be together, for better or for worse, until death.
That said, here's the truth: a decision to marry outside one's race or ethnicity should not be entered into lightly.
He likes meat and potatoes and beer on occasion; listens to alternative rock and people like Nick Drake; and likes camping and hiking.
I, on the other hand, can throw down on fried chicken, greens, and mashed potatoes; prefer gospel, jazz, hip-hop, or anything I can dance to; and would much rather workout indoors or run than be in the wilderness. As we learned more about just how different we were, our differences began to put a strain on our marriage.
We had work to do to get to know each other, and many of our confusions were rooted in the fact that we were so culturally different.
My husband and I joke that we are the reasons for the black and white stereotypes out there.
Even our personalities are at two different extremes. Tim and Kathy Keller explain the phenomenon in their book The Meaning of Marriage: "If your purpose in marriage was to acquire a 'soul mate'—a person who would not change you and would supportively help you reach your life goals—then this particular reality of marriage will be deeply disorienting.