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It is just assumed that monogamy is rare, if not impossible, among lively people, and the question never comes up." Whether my friend's observation is true or not (for I have many European friends who do seem to care deeply about their mate's fidelity), it certainly does seem that Europeans see marriage differently than Americans do.Marriage is for stability, friendship, children; love is for the adrenaline highs and lows of sexual madness, the romance of being appreciated by anew person, the joys of flirting, pursuing, and clandestine coupling.If they are in fact open, we really don't want to know about it.
The roar of outrage that greeted Shere Hite's assertion that 70 percent of American wives married more than five years are unfaithful just goes to show how against American values this notion of "open" marriage is: Americans idealistically imagine their marriages closed.We get up in the morning refreshed as if we had slept—because the sharing we have experienced has in fact been more refreshing than sleep.There is little doubt that this chemistry is impervious to the pollution of outside elements. But I am sure that it is precious and irreplaceable.No one can duplicate the dialogue we create when we are together. Two people who have found such chemistry between them have little to fear from the beast of territoriality—or do they?We float through the world in a bubble of laughter made up of two parts pun, one part aphorism, three parts poetry, and the rest pure beluga caviar. We humans are territorial creatures, by nature jealous and threatened.
What we have together cannot be threatened because it is something we have found with no one else.